LOSS

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I didn’t know how deep loss felt. It sits in your throat the moment you wake up. It has a taste. It is bitter and tastes like death.

I didn’t know loss makes sleep so difficult, and yet you never want to wake up again.

I didn’t know that loss is the best diet and can make you drop all the weight you ever dreamt you wanted to lose, and more.

I didn’t know loss takes away the joy of the wind, the beauty of the flowers, the magic of music, the luster of love.

I didn’t know that loss is a cousin to regret, a sister to guilt and married to the past

I didn’t know that loss would like to be your constant companion and take the place of hope and future

I’m trying to put loss in it’s place, behind me, but it’s a process and the only wisdom I can see is to let go, give up and accept it’s place in the story of my life.

Published by coloradopoet

I am Cindy. I live in Denver Colorado, where I work as a RN in a neonatal ICU. I am a longtime lover of words, writing, reading and the piano. I am married to the love of my life who originally hails from the UK. We have three children who are tip toeing with adulthood.

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7 thoughts on “LOSS”

  2. That definition should be in the dictionary. It never goes away, you just learn to live with it. I suppose it depends on what kind of loss it is, but once it moves in, it puts down deep roots and doesn’t like to be disturbed. BUT, I leaned how to deal with it by looking it in the face and saying really loud to life itself: I AM STRONGER THAN YOU ARE AND YOU CAN’T BEAT ME DOWN! My son died, my husband died, my three nephews died. I refuse to give in to the ugliness of life and I know that I really am stronger than that it is because I have freedom of choice and I can leave this place anytime I feel like going, if I don’t want it to torture me any longer. You can stand up to it, once the initial shock is over. You can beat it, if you just stand up to it like any other bully. Because that’s what life is, when it takes things from us. Be strong, when you can be. Be tough. Bullies hate that. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon so you can fight back.

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    1. Gigi,
      Your words give me courage. You understand loss. I hear that, I feel that in your words. You have stood up to the unthinkable, loss you couldn’t have foreseen or imagined; just as I am doing now. It is people like you, people who know loss and survive who give me hope that I can fight another day and have some sort of future. Not one that I ever imagined.

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  3. The only advice I can give is: embrace the grief of loss. It is a part of who you are.. but does not define you. The grief, the loss, will never go away. But, as you mentioned, hope and the future have their place as well. Grief and hope hold hands.

    Absolutely beautiful, perfect work. I felt this. It reminds me so much of my own walk with grief, the triumphs and stumbles.

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